The Titans Get High
by TheDarkQueenOfRandomness
Summary: Title pretty much explains it. They smoke Mary Jane and bad things happen in the end. Crack fic. Heh heh or Weed fic. Whatever


First thing first: I have never smoked ganja a day in my life... seriously. The things I learned, I learned from That 70's Show.

Disclaimer: I don't own shit.

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Robin was walking in the hallway when he saw smoke emitting from Star's room.

"Star?" He called.

He heard coughing.

He ran to her room and kicked the door open.

"Star?!" He called.

'_Hey, this smells like-_'

Starfire was puffing a Joint like a pro.

"Heh hee. Robin! How do you do?!" She fell back and started laughing.

"Where did you get that?" Robin asked, pointing to the bag of point and rolling papers by her foot.

"I, uh, found it on the way to the lemonade stand. Then I said to the man... running the stand, 'Hey- bonk bonk bonk- have any weed?' Then the man said, 'No, but you can buy it down the street'. I said, 'Okay- bonk bonk bonk- I'll go get some weed." Then she started cackling at her remake of 'The Duck Song'.

She took another puff of her Stank.

"How did you hear of Marijuana?" Robin asked, snatching up the bags.

Star stared at him like he was speaking another language. "Yo! Yo yo yo! I have been getting smacked since my days with the G-g... Whatever the fuck they call themselves!" Starfire blew some in Robin's face.

"Give me that!" Robin shouted, grabbing at the joint. "This isn't good for you!"

**20 minutes later**

Robin was sitting next to Star with nothing but his boxers and a mask on.

"Hey Staar, I'm seeing stars. Where? On you Star. Stars on Star." Then he stood up and started dancing. "Stars on Star on Star. Stars on Star on Star-ar!"

Starfire started giggling, inhaling the fumes of cannabis. Then she picked up the joint and puffed on it. "Rooobiiiin! I-I-I-I-I gotta feeling! Oo ooo. That tonight's gonna be a good night!"

"Baby, pass that. Pass that here." He directed, reaching for the Mary Jane.

"Robin? I'm looking for-" Beast Boy stopped at the the door.

Robin's eyes went wide. "Oh shit. They've come for meee. I need to leave. I need to find the dirt pile so that I can roll the dirt away in."

Beast Boy was seriously confused.

Starfire chuckled. "I completely understand. Just pass that Garlic Knot back first."

Beast Boy's eyes went wide. "You guys have Fatty Boombalaty?"

"Do you wish to join?"

"No way! I-"

Robin stuffed the Chronic in his mouth. "Now puff it and pass."

Beast Boy started inhaling the fumes. His eyes went red and lost.

"Oh, this is some nice shit." Beast Boy puffed it, choked, and handed it to Star.

"I got me, myself, and weed. That's all I got in the end." Robin sang as he rolled another.

"You do not roll it like that. You do it like this." Star snatched it and started rolling it.

**Another 20 minutes later**

"Gah! Gah! Gah!" Beast Boy uttered for no reason.

Robin was rolling around, laughing like an idiot.

Starfire removed her shirt. "Hey, you're a crazy bitch, but you fuck so good I'm on top of it." She sang swinging her top in one hand and using the other to hold her Hydro.

"I'm so I love with this. I'm hungry fucking. I'm tofu go get some gonna." Beast Boy said in a completely butchered sentence. He stood up and walked to the kitchen.

Cyborg just walked in from waxing his 'baby'. "Hey BB."

Beast Boy stumbled to the fridge. "Up what's. Fun have waxing car-T?" He asked.

Cyborg turned to stare at him. "Yo, you okay?"

Beast Boy took out some tofu and started munching on it. "I good. I reeeal good." He turned and staggered to Star's room.

Cy followed behind him.

Cy stood in the front of the door in disbelief.

Robin stopped laughing and looked at him. "AAAAHH! THE ROBOTS HAVE TAKEN OVER!"

Then he started chuckling and grabbing at Star.

Star blew rings with the Herbage. "Move! Rubbing your needy hands on me! I need to stay calm bitch!"

He grabbed her shirt from the floor and rubbed it against his face.

"Y'all in here smoking Jazz Cigarettes?" He asked. Then he inhaled. "I love the smell." He mumbled, already getting captured.

He sat and watched them uncertainly.

Star pushed the one she had in his face. "Take."

Cyborg grabbed it and puffed.

Beast Boy started laughing and tickling Robin.

"Stop! I'm ticklish." Robin giggled.

Beast Boy stopped and started clawing his shirt off. "IT'S HOT MOTHERFUCKERS!"

"Man, is this some good Reefer or what?" Cy said, passing it to Robin.

"It's gooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooood!" Robin stressed, before taking a huff.

**Another hour later **

Robin and Star were in her closet, giggling like dunderheads.

Beast was knocking his head against a wall.

And Cyborg was smoking the Sticky Icky by himself.

"MINE! All Mine! All y'all motherfuckers can bite this!" He took another go.

"I own you wall! Who's your daddy! Me, bitch!" Beast Boy yelled at the wall before banging his head against it.

Starfire stumbled out of the closet in her underwear.

"Arrrrrr! Igina glosifop masanorfa onana!" She shouted, beating her chest.

Robin fell out, clutching his balls through his boxers. "I think I busted a nut!" He groaned.

Cyborg started laughing like a hyena.

Beast Boy started kicking the wall. "I'm your daddy, bitch!"

Starfire trudged over to the Toot. She snatched one from Cy and puffed on it. "Masanorfa onana."

"Onana? Oh na na! What's my name?" Cy sang.

"Your name is Roboy. Duuuuuuuuuh." Robin said hitting Cy's head.

"It is?" Cy asked. "Call me Roboyman!"

Beast Boy started humping the wall. "I own you!"

Raven stood in front of the door in shock. "How did you all find my stash?"

"Huh?" They all asked.

Raven shook her head. "Nothing." She took the bag up. "How did you start doing the Wacky Tobacky without me? I could make some nice tea with this."

Robin grabbed her hand. "No. Smoke with us." He them licked her hand.

"Ew." Raven slapped him.

She still sat anyway. "I'm gonna stay sober, just so I can make sure no one gets hurt."

"I love Wowe Maui!" Cy shouted, puffing on two at once.

Starfire took one and pressed it to her skin. "Ah."

Beast Boy finished up... having sex with the wall? Yeah, and he walked over to Raven.

He bent over, picked up a joint, and stuffed it in her mouth.

"Die you demon!"

Raven started coughing and glared at him. "I outta ki- everything is spinning. Make it stop!"

Star looked around frantically. She shoved a Spliff in Raven's face. "Try this! I hope It shall rid the spinning! Motherfucker!"

Raven puffed at the Steege. "Poof! Hehe! It's gone!"

"Yay!" Beast Boy started tickling Robin again.

"Call me maybe! It's hard to look right, at you baby..." Cyborg started singing.

"You have to be higher then a kite to sing that." Raven said. "Higher then a motherfucking kite!"

"I have an idea!" Starfire shouted.

"What?!" They all asked.

**9 months later**

The doctor looked at the baby.

"Um, it's a girl." The doctor slapped the baby and handed it to Star. Then he proceeded to run out of the delivery room.

"Okay, so whose is it's?" Beast Boy asked.

Star held it up to them. "I'm still not sure."

"What-" Raven started.

"The-" Cy continued.

"Fuck?" Robin finished.

The baby was pale green with dark purple, curly hair. She had blue/gray eyes, a mix of Robin's and Cy's.

"How is it possible for it to look like me?" Raven asked.

"Anything is possible with Star." Robin reminded her. "It barely looks like me."

"The baby has your lips." Star pointed out.

"Is that a cybernetic ear?" Beast Boy pointed. (A/N: Parody, remember?)

"What should we name her?" Cyborg asked.

"How about 'Last Time Weevergetsmacked'?" Robin suggested.

"I was thinking 'Bearae Cyrob Starring'." Beast Boy said.

"Ew." Raven said flatly. "How about 'Imso Surprised Ididntgetprego'?"

"Even worse. I like Raecy Bearob Starring." Starfire said. "I carried her in my womb, so we stay with that."

"Fine." The other titans agreed.

**Raecy Bearob Starring- born August 16, 2012.**

**Stay off of drugs kids.**

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Kids: We don't give a shit what you say.

Me: Whatever.


End file.
